In the rush of daily life, it’s easy to fixate on immediate details and lose sight of the larger forces shaping our journey. Yet, as Dan Harris reminds us, the emotions we feel—anger, jealousy, fear—are not who we are. They’re passing states, signals to notice but not cling to. Daniel Levitin builds on this idea, highlighting the need to toggle between the work at hand and the broader vision we hold, much like a driver watching both the road and the distant mountain to stay on course.
This balance between the granular and the expansive echoes in other domains. Systems thinking teaches us that clarity begins with seeing the whole picture: the components, their relationships, and the invisible assumptions that shape them. Donella Meadows calls these paradigmatic assumptions the deepest leverage points for change—embedded ideas so pervasive they often go unnoticed, yet profoundly influence how we live and interact with the world.
But systems are not just abstract constructs; they are also deeply personal. Our longing to belong, as Brené Brown points out, can either ground us in authentic connection or drive us into hollow patterns of approval-seeking. This same tension applies to our relationships with others. Freddie deBoer reminds us that human connection is one of life’s greatest glories, but it requires discernment—not every connection will nurture us.
These reflections converge on a simple but powerful truth: to navigate both personal and systemic challenges, we need the courage to pause, the perspective to map our course, and the wisdom to question what we take for granted. Only then can we see clearly—not just the mountain in the distance, but the path that leads us there.
"The final step—“non-identification”—meant seeing that just because I was feeling angry or jealous or fearful, that did not render me a permanently angry or jealous person. These were just passing states of mind." (Dan Harris, 10% Happier)
"In many tasks, whether creative or mundane, we often need to shift back and forth between working and evaluating, comparing the ideal image in our minds with the actual work in front of us." (Daniel J. Levitin, The Organized Mind)
This idea can also be expressed as the need to step back from the details and focus on the bigger picture. If we remain too caught up in the details, we risk drifting away from our ultimate goal. As mentioned in this morning's Dhammatalk: when driving toward a mountain, you spend most of your time watching the road ahead, but you also keep track of the mountain to ensure you stay on course toward your destination.
"The Water Resilience Assessment Framework consists of four key steps: visualizing the system; developing a resilience strategy; testing the resilience strategy; and evaluating." (Home, Water Resilience Assessment Framework — Alliance for Global Water Adaptation)
The first step, visualizing the system, may sound straightforward or even casual, but it actually involves a significant amount of effort. It is valuable and essential work—but still, work. There are many ways to visualize a system, but one of the most effective methods is through a simple relationship map. This map identifies the components of the system and clarifies their relationships using drawn lines and minimal text. While these maps can become quite complex—evolving into causal loop diagrams or stock-and-flow models—keeping them simple has its own benefits. Simpler maps serve as valuable tools for pausing and reflecting. They help you stay oriented and focused on your "mountain," the ultimate destination you are striving toward.
Donella Meadows refers to "paradigmatic assumptions"—or mindsets—as the most powerful leverage points for systemic change. However, these assumptions are also the most difficult to recognize because they are deeply embedded in our core operating frameworks, almost like our mental "firmware."
For example: Money measures something real and has real meaning (therefore, people who are paid less are literally worth less). Growth is good. Nature is a stock of resources to be converted for human purposes. Evolution stopped with the emergence of Homo sapiens. One can “own” land. These are just a few of the paradigmatic assumptions prevalent in our current culture. Interestingly, many of these ideas have left other cultures utterly baffled, as they did not find such assumptions to be obvious in the slightest. (donellameadows.org, Leverage Points: Places to Intervene in a System)
"The truth is that while the glory of human life is found in other people, you must actively seek them out, discovering shared values and compatible beliefs." (Freddie deBoer, There Is No Such Thing as an Identity)
This is true—the potential for this glory exists in all people, and much of it comes from resonance, the deep connection we feel with others. However, some people can be like hungry ghosts: endlessly searching, consuming, and taking more than they can give. Therefore, it’s important to not only find resonance but also to recognize and avoid those who drain rather than nurture that connection.
And Brené Brown provides insight into what might underlie some of the behaviors of hungry ghosts—the almost insatiable desire to "belong."
"Belonging is the innate human desire to be part of something larger than us. Because this yearning is so primal, we often try to acquire it by fitting in and by seeking approval, which are not only hollow substitutes for belonging, but often barriers to it. Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance." (Brené Brown, Braving the Wilderness)
This deep longing to belong can sometimes drive people into patterns of endless searching and consuming, where they seek external validation rather than cultivating a grounded sense of self. In this way, the hungry ghost's endless hunger may stem from a lack of true self-acceptance—a barrier to authentic belonging.
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