"Next to physical survival, the greatest need of a human being is psychological survival—to be understood, to be affirmed, to be validated, to be appreciated."
–Stephen R. Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
This quote comes from Stephen Covey's influential book "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People," and it speaks to a fundamental human need that goes beyond basic physical requirements.
Covey is highlighting that after our physical needs for food, water, and shelter are met, our most pressing need is psychological - to feel truly seen and valued by others. This includes:
- Being understood: Having others grasp what we're really saying and feeling
- Being affirmed: Having our experiences and perspectives acknowledged as valid
- Being validated: Receiving confirmation that our thoughts and feelings matter
- Being appreciated: Having our contributions and presence recognized as valuable
This insight forms part of the foundation for Covey's fifth habit: "Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood." He argues that empathic listening - truly trying to understand others before asking them to understand you - is one of the most powerful skills we can develop in our relationships.
The quote reflects psychological research on human motivation, particularly Abraham Maslow's hierarchy of needs, which places "belongingness and love needs" and "esteem needs" just after physiological and safety needs. It speaks to our deeply social nature and how meaningful connection is essential to our wellbeing.
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